Blog » Sweet Dews Of Dharma Talks » 2011 » Practice Filial Respect by Holding Honoring Elder’s Day
Practice Filial Respect by Holding Honoring Elder’s Day2013-01-10
A Talk Given by DM Jin Fan
English Translation by Peter Wu
The first time I came to City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB) was in 1992, and I lived there for 5 months. I was fortunate to encounter the first Honoring Elders Day. Back then, the Venerable Master brought up the idea of honoring the elders and cherishing the youths. He said: “Every autumn, when it’s neither cold nor hot, we can hold Honoring Elders Day.” Why should we hold this event? It is to express our care to the elders. In addition, since CTTB has elementary school and middle school, by establishing the Honoring Elders Day, the Venerable Master skillfully applied a wise expedient method, to give school students an opportunity to practice being respectful to elders and practice filial respect. That’s how Honoring Elders Day was established.
Originally, Honoring Elders Day was only held in CTTB. Now, every branch monastery of Dharma Realm Buddhist Association (DRBA) holds this event every year, in larger and larger scale. It is the same way in CTTB, where many elders anticipate this day every year. In America, many elders are very lonely living in the nurseries. Therefore, after the event, they usually look forward to coming back next year. From this, you can see how important Honoring Elders Day means to them.
We know that the Venerable Master was called “Filial Son Bai” ever since he was young. After his mother died, he stayed by his mother’s graveside for three years to observe filial respect. Usually, people say that doing so for three years is enough to fulfill one’s responsibility of being filial. However, what did the Venerable Master say? He said that practicing filial respect has no time limits and no boundaries into the future. Therefore, the Venerable Master made a vow to look after all elders, to be respectful and filial to them. Throughout his life, he used the principle of being respectful and filial to teach young people, students and children to live a filial lifestyle. That was one of the principles and purposes of establishing CTTB.
Today is September 25. Three days later, on September 28, it is Confucius’ birthday. Confucius is a great sage and teacher of China, the first and unsurpassed sage. The education that Venerable Master advocated was based on Confucius. Therefore the elementary and middle school in CTTB teach students how to be filial. Honoring Elders Day is for putting into practice being filial and respectful to the elders. Students have this opportunity every year. They always have to prepare programs to perform, set up stages and even clean up after the events. But no matter how tiring the work is, every student is very happy to have such an opportunity to practice. Therefore, not only is the theory important, real practice is just as important.
We all know that Confucius has influenced China for over 2561 years. The teaching of Confucius is everlasting for Chinese people. Today, in the Bay Area, people commemorate his birthday with a great ceremony, which has been a long tradition. With the collaboration of Bay Area Chinese Schools and other organizations, the event turned out to be a very meaningful. It was obvious that the Chinese community deeply honors and respects Confucius. Confucius mainly taught us to have filial respect. Staring from the first chapter onwards, On Studying, of The Analects, many chapters talk about filial respect. Confucius says, “The superior person focus on the essentials. Once the essentials are established, the Way naturally comes forth. Wouldn’t you say that filial respect and brotherhood are the essentials of humanity?” It says that in order to be a proper and superior person, we must base ourselves in the essentials and do it very well. So what are the essentials of being a human? They are filial respect and respect for others. If you do these well, then a person’s virtue in the Way will naturally come forth. This virtue is not something we are born with, but is revealed through our practice in our everyday life.
Generally, we all have to be virtuous. Monastic people also need to have virtuous conduct; in other words, they need to have virtue in the Way. Otherwise, firstly, laypeople would not give rise to respect for them. Secondly, the monastic people wouldn’t be successful in their cultivation. That’s because they’re missing the essentials. Therefore, the Venerable Master said, “When a person knows how to be a human to the utmost, Buddhahood will be accomplished naturally.” One needs to be firmly established in human propriety in order to accomplish Buddhahood. It’s the same with cultivation. One has to begin with the fundamentals, that is, one need to be filial towards his/her parents. Buddhism is more vast and open-minded in this respect. Why? Normally, we say that these are my parents or, when we get married, these are my parents-in-law. We limit ourselves to parents directly related with us. In Buddhism, however, the Brahma Net Sutra says: “All men are my fathers; all women are my mothers.” Every man in this world is my father; every woman is my mother. How do we explain this? It’s because the Buddha can see that everyone is related to each other as brothers, parents and sisters. In other words, in past lives, you may have been his father and he your son. And in this life, the role has reversed. The relationship is constantly interchangeable. But we common people cannot perceive this. Thus, the Buddha informed us about such relationships in our past lives. Since this person could’ve been our father or mother, we should be respectful and filial. So you can see how vast this mindset is!
Every person during his/her cultivation wishes to help his/her parents leave suffering and attain bliss. All disciples of the Buddha know that the quickest way to help parents leave suffering and attain bliss is by helping them get reborn in the Land of Ultimate Bliss. In that land, there is no suffering; moreover, everyone is guaranteed to accomplish Buddhahood there, and will no longer undergo rebirth in the six realms of existence. So we should bring forth a vast mind to regard every man as our father and every woman as our mother. In this way, we can bring forth a respectful and filial attitude. We not only wish to help and cross over our parents of this life, but also cross over all our parents of the previous lives and in life after life so they can leave suffering and attain bliss.
The most difficult obstacle during cultivation is sexual desire. Because of sexual desire, we cannot easily accomplish the Way. Sexual desire is the greatest obstacle for cultivators. Therefore, the Buddha spoke in the sutra that every man is our father and every woman is our mother. This was the other intention for speaking the sutra. Just think about it. Is it possible for us to give rise to sexual desire towards our own parents? No. If we regard everyone in this way, there is no way we’ll give rise to sexual desire. This is a useful and beneficial tool in cultivation. In Buddhism, we call this great filial respect, which regards everyone with filial respect the same way we are towards our own parents. Therefore, in Buddhism, we emphasize filial respect. Everyone knows that the Sutra of the Past Vows of Earth Store is a sutra about filial respect. It describes the filial deeds and practice of Earth Store Bodhisattva during his past lives. If one can practice filial respect, all the fundamentals of being human are fulfilled. The foundation of cultivation is likewise established. It then becomes very easy for us to accomplish the Way.
Today, besides attending the events, the most important point is giving youths an opportunity to practice filial responsibilities and respect. We just recited the Universal Door Chapter which talks about Guan Yin Bodhisattva, saying: “If someone should be crossed over by an elder, then Guan Yin Bodhisattva will appear in the form of an elder to speak the dharma for him.” So you can say that you have all appeared as elders to teach the young how to behave and cultivate. Just as what Shramana Qin Wei said: “In this life, you have many precious experiences which can be passed down to people of the next generations, so that they can be better people. On Honoring Elders Day, many people gathered together. In fact, being together is a great opportunity to learn from each other and help each other accomplish the Way.
I wish everyone had a good time on this day. May you be able to put to practice what you’ve learned on this day when you go home. In this way, Honoring Elders Day would be even more meaningful.
